1. You know how to get every where but can’t give directions.
2. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know that this means San Francisco.
3. You will never understand why people come here to see a bridge
4. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from one side of the city to the other, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
5. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
6. The muni makes sense.
7. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
8. You’ve considered stabbing someone just for saying “Frisco”.
9. You call an 8′ x 10′ plot of patchy grass a yard
10. You know all the districts
11. You think Golden gate park and the presidio are “nature.”
12. You see nothing odd about the speed of a crack heads speech.
13. You’re paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a “steal.”
14. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.
15. You haven’t seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
16. You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.
17. Your closet is filled with black clothes.
18. You haven’t heard the sound of absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.
19. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.
20. You take fashion seriously.
21. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
22. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
23. Going to Oakland is considered a “road trip.”
24. You’ve gotten jaywalking down to an art form.
25. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
26. $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
27. You don’t notice sirens anymore.
28. You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.
29. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.
30. You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
31. You secretly envy cabbies for getting away with their crazy driving
32. You think paying for fastrak to cross a bridge is a fair price.
33. Your door has more than three locks.
34. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
35. You walk slower when you see a flashing “Do Not Walk” sign at the intersection as you cross.
36. You’re 35 years old and don’t have a driver’s license.
37. You ride in a bart car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.
38. You’re willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.
39. You know the differences between all the hoods.
40. You’re not in the least bit interested in going to Union Square or the Embarcadero on New Year’s Eve.
41. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet……..while putting theirs in your back pocket.
42. You cringe at hearing people pronounce Gough St.
43. You know what real weed feels like, smells, like and taste like. For sure you don’t smoke bammer
44. You say hella
45. You see sun and wear shorts and it is still 60 degrees outside - that’s warm to you
I remember getting a bunch of these when I was in college. Totally made me miss home seeing as how I was in Central California. Some of these totally don’t refer to me, and I really wish I had some of those ones I used to get in college. Oh well, HAPPY FRIDAY!